infuse - Dating: A Tool In Preparation for Marriage

Dating: A Tool In Preparation for Marriage
By Kitty Bumgardner

After selecting a dating partner who fits the description in the spring issue of Infuse, under Things to Look For in a Godly Guy or Girl, spend some time in prayer before going out. Ask God for His help in being what He wants you to be. Only then consider yourself ready to enjoy an evening out.

Dating should be used as a tool to grow and become a better, more stable person as well as to find the one person you would like to spend the rest of your life with.

Your actions on any date will not only create good character but could destroy character. Determination to do the right thing and obey God’s commands to flee fornication should be upper most in your mind when you go out with the opposite sex.

Developing a relationship that is physically too close should be avoided. Physical closeness leads to greater and greater temptation, finally leading to the result of giving in to the temptation to the fullest. This act should be saved for your future mate. In order to avoid this tremendous temptation avoid the closeness that should be reserved for marriage.

Light hugs and kisses are one thing, passionate kissing and fondling are another. In order to avoid fornication (premarital sex) we must avoid the passion that leads to this act. By saving ourselves for our future mate we are in the process of insuring a marriage that will be successful. A marriage takes work and it begins with dating.

As young people dating one another, you are preparing yourself and are becoming a good wife or husband in advance. By avoiding a relationship that is too close and saving oneself for marriage, you are building the character that develops when you avoid sin. You will also be learning to be faithful to the one you will eventually marry.

On the opposite side of this coin, if you allow yourself to get involved in an intimate and passionate situation and give in to your passions, you are destroying character and learning how to be unfaithful to the one you will eventually marry.

If we cannot be faithful to God it will not come natural to be faithful to a future mate. By avoiding or fleeing fornication (as we are instructed in 1 Corinthians 6:18), we develop the character to be faithful to God and thereby the character to be faithful to our future husband or wife.

So start now being what God wants you to be. By being the most wholesome date you can be you are preparing to be the best wife or husband that you can be, when you find the one God has for you.

Things to Know About the
Person You Are Dating

Dating is the time spent with someone to see if you would want to marry and spend the rest of your life with him or her. It might feel like an interview at times, but it is important to ask many questions, whether you think you know the answer or not. Talk, talk, talk, that is how you will get to know each other. Once you know this person’s personality and who he/she is, you will be able to make a better decision if you want the relationship to move forward to marriage or not. Below are some ideas and topics of things to know about the person you are dating.

Basic Information First and last name Where he/she works or goes to school? Where he or she lives? Hobbies Age Parents- married or divorced Brothers and sisters Relationship with family Does he/she do kind and loving things for others? Does he/she brag about getting away with things? Has he/she been married before? Does he/she have children?	Basics About Life-style What are his/her friends like? Does he/she like your friends? Courteous and dependable Well-liked, well-respected and responsible Makes good decisions Is he/she in debt? Can he/she support himself? How much time and energy is put into interests, hobbies, politics, socializing, etc? Do you admire and respect this person?
Personality Any mysterious behaviors What does he/she do in his free time? Strengths and weaknesses Make others feel comfortable Taste in music and clothing Jealous Nosey, snoopy or can’t keep a secret Temper Irritable, stubborn or unforgiving Make excesses for behavior Emotionally strong Poor manners	Digging Deeper Is there anything about him/her you would not want your parents or friends to know? Demands you change Treated with respect? Health/medical problems Keeps promises Remembers important dates Criminal record Does he/she care about your wants and desires? What do your parents and friends think of him/her? Physically attraction Odd opinions