infuse - If A Marriage is No Longer Fulfilling, Shouldn’t We Be Free To End It?

Email article to a friend. If A Marriage is No Longer Fulfilling, Shouldn’t We Be Free To End It? By Margie Marang Why should you want to end your marriage if it is no longer fulfilling? Paul, the author of Corinthians says, “Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife. But to the rest I, not the Lord say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her let her not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?” (I Corinthians 7:10-16). Think back to when you were dating each other. It might have been love at first sight. It could have taken several dates to realize this was the person you wanted to spend your life with. What attracted you to each other? Think of the fun things you used to do. What did you talk about? Think of the special dinners you used to fix. The special places you use to visit. The fun times you had with your children. When did all of this stop?
You may have to be the one to start a conversation. Get back to communicating. Talk about the good times you had before and after the children came. The special times and trips you made. Get out old pictures. They will help bring back special memories.
One of you will have to be the one to start a dialog. Don’t wait for your spouse to be the first to speak. Be patient, positive and cheerful. Make your spouse feel important. Give him or her a compliment, but be sure to be sincere. If your marriage isn’t fulfilling, maybe it’s your fault. You need to slow down and notice what your spouse needs. Share your problems with your mate. In your marriage vows didn’t you say; “till death do us part?” Don’t break up a marriage before you consider all these things. Give your marriage a chance. It takes awhile to get to really know your partner. You might say it takes a lifetime of “give and take”. “Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: it is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immortality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control” (I Corinthians 7:1-5). King Solomon said, “Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life which He has given you under the sun, all your days of vain life for that is your portion in life, and in the labor which you perform under the sun” (Ecclesiastes 9:9). If your spouse is abusive, violent and head strong, hasten to professional Christian counseling. You might have to end it. On the other hand it might bloom into something more beautiful. In the dictionary the word “compromise” means to “promise together, make a mutual pledge, come in from the extremes and meet on common ground.” I know it’s hard to compromise because we all really want to have our own way. “Blessed are the peace makers, for they shall be called Sons [or children] of God” (Matthew 5:9).

Divorce in the United States

One out of every two marriages will end in divorce. Make sure you are marrying the right person and you are ready to get married. Many do not take marriage and the commitment seriously. In the long run it is easier and less hurtful to end the relationship before investing time and possibly children into it. Read on for more divorce statistics from www.divorcePeers.com.

In 1998 2.2 million couples married and 1.1 million couples divorced.
In 2000 58 million couples were married, yet separated.
In 2000 there were over 21 million people who had been divorced.
People between the ages of 25 to 39 make up 60% of all divorces.
Over one million children are affected by divorce each year.
Approximately 1/3 of divorced parents remain bitter and hostile several years after the divorce.
In 1990 the average female age for re-marriage after divorce was 30.6 years; for males, 33.7 years of age.
In 1990 the average female age for a second divorce was 37.3 years; for males, 40.4 years of age.
More people are part of second marriages today than first marriages.