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Mom and Dad
By Brian Christensen
The fifth Commandment from God states, “Honor your father and your mother” (Exodus 20:12). Without respect and discipline, society would be total anarchy. Basic respect for leadership, elders, law enforcement, rules, etc., is necessary for survival of a human culture. God designed us and knows the foundation for His plan begins with our parents. They biologically create the being, which develops into us. Our parents care for our needs, raise us in a way they believe is correct, and prepare us for our human life. How we choose to live our life will ultimately help or hurt our judgment into the Kingdom of God.
God did not have to command parents to honor their children because it is instinctive. Children however, will tend to “break free” of their parents at some point in time. As we begin to grow and mature, there is a natural need to be independent. God understands this need and the importance of our love and respect for our parents. It must last as long as our parents love for us, which is forever.
Jesus shows us this respect in His treatment of His earthly parents, Mary and Joseph. Even though Jesus is our Savior, when He was here on earth, He needed Mary and Joseph to raise Him as a child. They provided Him with a solid Torah based home and family. They all kept the Sabbaths and the Feasts together. As Jesus grew, He became more mature and independent to fulfill His mission. Jesus loved and respected His parents during His entire life on earth.
Should We Hate Our Parents?
“If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple” (Luke 14:26). When Jesus tells us to “hate” our mother and father, the message for us is to place God first in our lives. This statement also warns parents not to love their children more than God. Paul also states, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother” (Ephesians 6:1,2). Children are to obey while under their parents’ care, but the responsibility to honor parents is for life.
Children are not commanded to disobey God in obeying their parents. God must be the most important person in our life, above all else. If our family situations are not perfect, we should focus on God. We can have extended blessings from God on behalf of our parents or a family member, however, at some point in our life, we must accept God’s way and stand firmly on our belief in Him. Our parents cannot save us.
Adam and Eve had a very unique situation, in which God was their biological and spiritual Father. We can learn about God’s expectations of our relationship with our parents by His relationship with Adam and Eve. God became aware of disobedience very early and understood our perfection could only be achieved through the trials and tribulations of life. He could not make us perfect, we had to become perfect. The disobedience found in the Garden continued throughout Genesis until today. Parents can create and care for children, however, they cannot create our character. They can have tremendous influence on our character. The final outcome is developed by our independence and personal belief in God. As we mature, our spiritual bond transforms from our physical parents to our spiritual Father. God uses very strong words to emphasize this effect because of how important it is to our future and perfection. It is equally important that the love and respect for our parents does not erode beyond the spiritual attachment to God.
We cannot seek or rely on our parents for salvation; however, we can learn so much about life from them and grow spiritually together as a true family. Unfortunately, this carnal world causes some situations to occur where this is not possible. Despite these situations, God comes first and the love for our parents must always remain. God feels so strongly about this, He made it a Commandment. A parent does not always mean “biological.” Anyone who raises children in the ways of God and shares wisdom, discipline, love towards their growth, is a parent. Joseph did not create Jesus biologically, but he was Jesus’ earthly father and loved Him dearly.
There are some basic functions of parenting that are common and universal. In addition, there are numerous other decisions that parents have to make which are unique to a specific situation. Parents must make these choices based on several criteria. Their choice is always what they feel is best. It may not be the same decision as other parents would make. We should not be envious of other families or friends. God tells us to be thankful for our parents and respectful of their decisions. Many times the choices our parents make are not what we want or like. It is important to remember they are responsible for our well-being and through God’s guidance they are making the decisions they feel are best. God holds children in a very special place of His heart. He is very upset with anyone who does harm to a child. This would also include our parents and places a huge responsibility on them. Paul tells us “ Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4).
God is our Heavenly Father and Jesus is our Elder Brother. Through Jesus we can enter the Kingdom of our Father. The path begins here on earth where we must perfect ourselves in the ways of God. Our earthly parents nurture us through God’s spirit and care for us until we are able to stand firmly on our belief in Him. Then we must place God first in our life and follow His way. At times, life can seem overwhelming. Remember we have two sets of parents to help us. Place God above all others. Honor your mother and father. These actions will help forge the framework of our faith and prepare us for parenthood. i
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