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Teaching Your Children Humility
By Evelyn Anderson
I often reflect on the time when I was raising my daughters and, to this day, I am always amazed by how much they imitated my actions and less often listened to what they were told. Parenting in the early stages was a wonderful, yet challenging time; I wouldn’t trade any of it…(Hmm? Just pondering).
Motherhood taught me hard lessons about humility. We were a single-parent household; I worked from 9 A.M. to whenever, so it required my girls to learn responsibility early, as they would often have to mind themselves until I came home. Our finances were so limited babysitters were a luxury.
As my daughters grew older, parenting grew more complicated and challenging. It quickly became apparent to me they needed to have knowledge of God and develop a lifelong relationship with Him. I also realized it would require me to change my lifestyle and live a life committed to God’s Word. Again, children tend to do what parents do and not so much what parents say. For instance, it’s very hard to tell a child not to smoke, engage in sexual activity or even drink when the parent is engaging in sexual activity outside of marriage and abusing alcohol. I had to submit to God; I wanted to be a better role model for my children. They looked up to me; I was their world. So for their sakes, I looked up to God.
I knew I would have to sincerely humble myself before the Lord and give Him control over my life. I also knew living a life of humility, for me, would be the most difficult challenge of my life. I was young, vibrant, and loved the nightlife. I was full of passion and lust and I enjoyed indulging myself whenever possible. How could I submit to His instructions for living life? Everything I enjoyed fell in the “do not” category! I looked into the faces of my little girls; I didn’t want them to follow in my footsteps thinking love means putting out. I didn’t want them to have the same disappointments I experienced. I had to show them a better way. I had to humble myself and ask God for His forgiveness. It was the only way.
Humility is a hard thing; it’s like that feeling one gets when your shoulders begin to sink in surrender and you want to rear back to defend yourself for all it’s worth and snatch control again. For me resistance would have only lead to future disaster for my family. So I began to show my children the meaning of humility. Every night on bended knees we would ask the Lord to forgive us of our sins. We asked Him to take over as Head of our family. We would ask for His direction and His guidance. We asked Him to reveal His plan for our lives. We asked for strength to do His will. We took a special trip to the Christian bookstore to buy a family Bible and some others books to help the children gain a better understanding of who Jesus Christ is and how He humbled Himself to the will of His Father.
Change happened; I began to come straight home from work. No more rendezvous before going home. I shook some people off. I began preparing more home-cooked meals. My children were doing much better in school, as they weren’t sitting up waiting for mommy to get home when they should have been sleeping. They began imitating the things that I did, praying on their own and reading a scripture before bed.
We soon had a church home. We attended Sunday school. I joined the adult choir and worked on committees. My children sang in the choir and joined functions of their own. We still faced challenges; no one is exempt from that, but we relied on and received divine help.
Maybe you are a single parent or maybe you are married with children trying to build your home. The foundation you build your home on is crucial. It is more precious than any rare jewel. When building a physical house, we often give up control to those who are experts in the field of construction. To give up control of one’s life takes greater strength. God is the expert in righteous living.
There is an expression that says apples don’t fall far from the tree. “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverb 22:6 KJV). To teach a child humility is to simply live a life of humility. We must be an example. When we become parents it is no longer about us. We are held accountable for the lives entrusted to us by God. Sacrifice is love. Making oneself available to God for His plan and purpose is the ultimate success in life. As so eloquently put in this poem by Marcellus Troy Alexander in his book of inspirational poems, Live: There Is More to Life The ABC To Living:
“Humility is the key to exaltation
Like the winds blowing the leaves
The essence of a person
No one really sees
If you acknowledge God
In all that you do
There is no battle
That He won’t see you through…” (And he that shall humble himself shall be exalted. St. Matthew 23:12b KJV).
My girls are all grown up now; one is a social worker, wife, and mother; the other, a teacher. Both are dealing with the complexities of adulthood and both are filled with the Holy Spirit. An act of humility brought about good success in my home and now resonates in the lives of my children; and as they continue the example of humility, it will resonate even in my children’s children. To God be the glory! i
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